"And the servants of Allah . . . are those who walked on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say 'Peace'" [25:63]
InternationalSolidarityMovement
Namira
Alyah
Calvina
Andik
Fad
Helena
Kapoor
Heeqmah
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Salwa Alsegaff
Tasneem
Namira
Alyah
Calvina
Andik
Fad
Helena
Kapoor
Heeqmah
Youtube
Salwa Alsegaff
Tasneem
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Saturday, December 12, 2009
Growing up with nothing to boast but an energetic and happy character, I had to be smart to survive. When I was old enough to enter school that did me good because I spoke well. I remember my kindergarten teacher taking me away from the other children to listen to me yap about my weekend. I went on and on. And on.
Whether stripped from that childlike innocence, or undergoing the phase of teen-angst, I now have nothing to say. I realise that I have the tendency of shutting down on people. People who once mattered or are, by the rule of nature, supposed to matter just lose significance based on their grave mistakes. I forgive and I forget YOU. It's a very cold way my mind deals with hurt.
I am scarred for life. I've been since I was old enough to think. This is when maturing fast is a disadvantage. Life's truths slap you in the face without warning.
3rd January 2003.
I was a child.
Then 6.05pm came.
It didn't wait.
I read somewhere that true love does not increase with good deeds that the other party does. Nor does it decrease with his wrongs. Assuming this theory valid, I can safely conclude that I, Sharifah Nabilah, am incapable of loving therefore being loved. Right now I only feel pain because when I feel love it turns around and takes away every ounce of strength I have.
Meanwhile, for my sake, lets not define love at all. Let's just allow it to be. Like the wind. Feel it, take it in, enjoy it while it lasts, but don't try to dissect and analyse it. It's just wind. If only it were that simple.
Her father said her name and asked her what's wrong.
I can't have that. There are many things I can't have. Deal with it? But I'm just a kid. A kid that wanted something she cant have. Now she needs it but doesn't want it because she can't have it.
I'll be 18 in a month. Time robs me of my innocence. Of my youth. Of what little feeling I have left. I know I have to fix this. I have to fix myself. I have to find myself. I have to find God. Because 5 years on and I am still stuck in the longkang I was thrown in.
Whether stripped from that childlike innocence, or undergoing the phase of teen-angst, I now have nothing to say. I realise that I have the tendency of shutting down on people. People who once mattered or are, by the rule of nature, supposed to matter just lose significance based on their grave mistakes. I forgive and I forget YOU. It's a very cold way my mind deals with hurt.
I am scarred for life. I've been since I was old enough to think. This is when maturing fast is a disadvantage. Life's truths slap you in the face without warning.
3rd January 2003.
I was a child.
Then 6.05pm came.
It didn't wait.
I read somewhere that true love does not increase with good deeds that the other party does. Nor does it decrease with his wrongs. Assuming this theory valid, I can safely conclude that I, Sharifah Nabilah, am incapable of loving therefore being loved. Right now I only feel pain because when I feel love it turns around and takes away every ounce of strength I have.
Meanwhile, for my sake, lets not define love at all. Let's just allow it to be. Like the wind. Feel it, take it in, enjoy it while it lasts, but don't try to dissect and analyse it. It's just wind. If only it were that simple.
Her father said her name and asked her what's wrong.
I can't have that. There are many things I can't have. Deal with it? But I'm just a kid. A kid that wanted something she cant have. Now she needs it but doesn't want it because she can't have it.
I'll be 18 in a month. Time robs me of my innocence. Of my youth. Of what little feeling I have left. I know I have to fix this. I have to fix myself. I have to find myself. I have to find God. Because 5 years on and I am still stuck in the longkang I was thrown in.
Friday, November 20, 2009
It feels like there's nothing left for me.
My 17 has by far been ragingly emotional.
Feelings I never thought I could ever feel.
I'll never forget this year because I've lost a large part of myself (literally and figuratively) in pursuit of a sense of being complete.
As ironic as that sounds.
I feel like womanhood is slowly creeping in and engulfing my youth.
I feel like my soul is a child but my heart is a woman.
My soul wants to be free and play in the rain and pick flowers.
My heart tells me to be stable and be the source of peace, comfort and refuge for someone I love.
The woman gives but the child demands to receive.
This is just a difficult transition phase.
I'll pull through.
My 17 has by far been ragingly emotional.
Feelings I never thought I could ever feel.
I'll never forget this year because I've lost a large part of myself (literally and figuratively) in pursuit of a sense of being complete.
As ironic as that sounds.
I feel like womanhood is slowly creeping in and engulfing my youth.
I feel like my soul is a child but my heart is a woman.
My soul wants to be free and play in the rain and pick flowers.
My heart tells me to be stable and be the source of peace, comfort and refuge for someone I love.
The woman gives but the child demands to receive.
This is just a difficult transition phase.
I'll pull through.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
The ring around your finger.
Sometimes we are completely wrong about our own feelings.
Sometimes our heart works faster than our head.
Sometimes we realise and we say: THAT'S IT, I HAVE CROSSED THE LINE.
Sometimes we place one person way higher than he deserves.
Sometimes we make mistakes.
Sometimes we fall.
Sometimes we have to pick ourselves back up and fix ourselves.
Sometimes people make brave promises and we let our lives depend on their words.
Sometimes we get hurt but we try to conceal it by nodding and saying "uh-huh" excessively.
Sometimes people think we are strong but we are not.
Sometimes we hate.
Sometimes we lose ourselves in pursuit of "happiness".
Sometimes people lie.
Sometimes we can't be too naiive.
All the time, we are alone.
I am not in the best state of mind.
Sometimes our heart works faster than our head.
Sometimes we realise and we say: THAT'S IT, I HAVE CROSSED THE LINE.
Sometimes we place one person way higher than he deserves.
Sometimes we make mistakes.
Sometimes we fall.
Sometimes we have to pick ourselves back up and fix ourselves.
Sometimes people make brave promises and we let our lives depend on their words.
Sometimes we get hurt but we try to conceal it by nodding and saying "uh-huh" excessively.
Sometimes people think we are strong but we are not.
Sometimes we hate.
Sometimes we lose ourselves in pursuit of "happiness".
Sometimes people lie.
Sometimes we can't be too naiive.
All the time, we are alone.
I am not in the best state of mind.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
KEVIN.WONG.
Saturday, November 07, 2009
1) If I could have one power, it would be the ability to time travel to anytime and place.
I'd travel back in time to:
-Mambo Jambo
-Orientation
-My childhood/Girlhood (TKG days)
2) My friends call me FARTLADY, coz I farted in my sleep in Brunei. So what!
3) I met my cousin Gaia Alkaff after 2 WHOLE YEARS. Its been that long since I heard her call me Nab. I missed her accent and humor.
Me: I remember meeting you when I was 12 and you were 17 *We both burst out laughing*
"If you wanna parent somebody, have a child" - Gaia Alkaff
3) On Friday, we played soccer with the teachers and some boys. It was darn hilarious.
Teacher: I RUN FASTER THAN YOU!
Me: I'M A GIRL!
Teacher: SO? I'M AN OLD MAN!
4) In sec 1, Kapoor made a song about me called RED RUBBER BAND.
You tie your hair with your hair!
To cover up, that RED RUBBER BAND!
You look so pretty, you look so fine!
Someday I'm gonna gonna make you mine!
LETS GO!
REDDDDDDDDDD RUBBER BAND
I love that girl.
5) I wish I lived in the countryside. I could run out of my house at dawn,
Play in the meadows
Ride my horse
Swim in the secret river
Hide in the woods
Pick flowers
I'd be very happy.
I'd travel back in time to:
-Mambo Jambo
-Orientation
-My childhood/Girlhood (TKG days)
2) My friends call me FARTLADY, coz I farted in my sleep in Brunei. So what!
3) I met my cousin Gaia Alkaff after 2 WHOLE YEARS. Its been that long since I heard her call me Nab. I missed her accent and humor.
Me: I remember meeting you when I was 12 and you were 17 *We both burst out laughing*
"If you wanna parent somebody, have a child" - Gaia Alkaff3) On Friday, we played soccer with the teachers and some boys. It was darn hilarious.
Teacher: I RUN FASTER THAN YOU!
Me: I'M A GIRL!
Teacher: SO? I'M AN OLD MAN!
4) In sec 1, Kapoor made a song about me called RED RUBBER BAND.
You tie your hair with your hair!
To cover up, that RED RUBBER BAND!
You look so pretty, you look so fine!
Someday I'm gonna gonna make you mine!
LETS GO!
REDDDDDDDDDD RUBBER BAND
I love that girl.
5) I wish I lived in the countryside. I could run out of my house at dawn,
Play in the meadows
Ride my horse
Swim in the secret river
Hide in the woods
Pick flowers
I'd be very happy.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me, someone like me
Someone like me, somebody
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleepWaging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me, someone like me
Someone like me, somebody
Saturday, October 31, 2009
1) Taylor Swift reminded me that I'm not a Princess, this ain't a Fairytale.
2) I was listening to music on my way to school one day and I realised that:
Life is like an Ipod on shuffle. Then Cyclone comes on.
3) I've been questioning why I do certain things. I question why I treat certain people so special and others with absolutely no regard. In a way, I am putting all my eggs in one basket. My basket's about to be mercilessly robbed in more ways than one.
4)I'm caught in between Growing Up and Being a Kid
Between Moving On and Staying
Between Loving and Owning
Between Knowing and Wondering
5) I fell in love on Friday night. After soccer, I took a good long shower, made sure I was squeaky clean before paying a visit to cousin Khadija who just gave birth to the purest, most beautiful and delicate baby girl. I was scared to lay my clumsy hands on her at first. I didn't want to taint something so beautiful. Ever so carefully, I took her in my arms. I just stared at her face. Touched her toes. She was beautiful.
6) I'm not ready to face the coming year. I'm gonna have to brave through this alone.
But I taught others that: You shouldn't fear what you don't know. I guess it's about time I man up and practice what I preach.
7) She is not an angel.
8) I went swimming last week with my little cousins Hannah and Hamzah. We pretended I was a mermaid and I could grant them 3 wishes. They wished for "infinity wishes". How original, kids. I told them that "Thats not possible. According to the rule #484 of the Mermaid Rule Book, infinity wishes are absolutely not allowed."
9) I am trying my very best to be gentler because I have had enough hurting people around me, physically or not. :(
10) There are many things I can't write here. I have found a beautiful alternative: Pen and Paper. Hence, the lack of updates. I write when I'm alone and I can write anything and everything. It helps me dissect and understand everything. I write letters to important people in my life, but they only get to see it after I'm gone. I told Khair that when I die, he's supposed to go to my house, find my box of writings and let those in concern read it. Hope he doesn't forget.
2) I was listening to music on my way to school one day and I realised that:
Life is like an Ipod on shuffle. Then Cyclone comes on.
3) I've been questioning why I do certain things. I question why I treat certain people so special and others with absolutely no regard. In a way, I am putting all my eggs in one basket. My basket's about to be mercilessly robbed in more ways than one.
4)I'm caught in between Growing Up and Being a Kid
Between Moving On and Staying
Between Loving and Owning
Between Knowing and Wondering
5) I fell in love on Friday night. After soccer, I took a good long shower, made sure I was squeaky clean before paying a visit to cousin Khadija who just gave birth to the purest, most beautiful and delicate baby girl. I was scared to lay my clumsy hands on her at first. I didn't want to taint something so beautiful. Ever so carefully, I took her in my arms. I just stared at her face. Touched her toes. She was beautiful.
6) I'm not ready to face the coming year. I'm gonna have to brave through this alone.
But I taught others that: You shouldn't fear what you don't know. I guess it's about time I man up and practice what I preach.7) She is not an angel.
8) I went swimming last week with my little cousins Hannah and Hamzah. We pretended I was a mermaid and I could grant them 3 wishes. They wished for "infinity wishes". How original, kids. I told them that "Thats not possible. According to the rule #484 of the Mermaid Rule Book, infinity wishes are absolutely not allowed."
9) I am trying my very best to be gentler because I have had enough hurting people around me, physically or not. :(
10) There are many things I can't write here. I have found a beautiful alternative: Pen and Paper. Hence, the lack of updates. I write when I'm alone and I can write anything and everything. It helps me dissect and understand everything. I write letters to important people in my life, but they only get to see it after I'm gone. I told Khair that when I die, he's supposed to go to my house, find my box of writings and let those in concern read it. Hope he doesn't forget.
